My Blue-Speckled Pup

Some varmint had stolen
My blue-speckled pup
I’ll hunt till I find him
I’ll never give up
 

Put an ad in the paper
And called the police
I said if I find him
This stealing will cease
 

‘Now it wasn’t long
Till I tracked down the skunk
I thought I could whip him
Because he was drunk
 

His face was all covered
With plenty of scars
He got some in prison
He got some in bars
 

‘Said he’d been in San Quentin
Spent time in the pen
‘Said he had a good lawyer
And killed seven men
 

He had a black bull
Tattooed on his head
It was lookin’ at me
And a-seeing all red
 

I’ll skip all the small talk
And won’t write a book
Get right to the fight
And the beating He took
 

I was looking due north
When the man slugged my mouth
My teeth went a flyin’
Somewhere to the South
 

I hoped he was done
And that he would stop
Thank god that my good teeth
Were still in the shop
 

I felt like a boxer
Who’d lost a decision
My eyes were all puffy
I had blurry vision
 

His hands were sure hard
And big as a plate
I could tell without looking
My nose wasn’t straight
 

I pictured my funeral
I pictured my mourners
I heard them a-sayin’
He’ll smell around corners
 

The guys were all standing
‘My hospital Room
A joking and laughing
To hide all the gloom
 

He never was pretty
In his younger days
But now he resembles
A young Gabby Hayes
 

With his teeth in that jar
And his mouth in a pucker
He looks like a carp
Or a big yellow sucker
 

Thank y’all for a coming
And cheering me up
Now fetch me a chew
And my blue-speckled pup