Dog For Sale

The ad in the paper

It sure caught my eye
A big Brindle Plott 

If you try him, you’ll buy
 

He’ll tree lots of squirrels
He’ll sing a fine tune
He’ll even bay hogs
But he really likes coons
 

When he locks on a tree
He’s on there for good
He’ll bark till he’s hoarse
With his feet on the wood
 

You can hunt him alone
Or in a big pack
He can wind in the air
He can run a cold track

 

He handles with ease
He’s smart as a fox
Just open the door
He’ll jump in the box
 

I dialed up the number
To talk to the seller
His name was John Brown
And a pretty nice feller
 

Come out to the house
And we’ll hunt him tonight
Now I gotta go,
Gotta charge up my light
 

So I hung up the phone
And I said to my wife
Go get my whet stone
And sharpen my knife
 

Then I snuck to my rathole
And grabbed all my cash
She said ‘for you go
Will you take out the trash

 

I pulled up to John’s
About six o’clock
And looked at the cars
That were sitting on blocks
 

The sky clouded up
It was starting to rain
When I saw the big dog
Staked out on a chain
 

He sure was beauty
With a big, blocky head
And colored just like
A Rhode Island Red

I liked him already
And wanted to try him
With cash in my pocket
I thought I could buy him
 

We turned old Slim loose
In a steep wooded draw
Not a minute went by
‘For he let out a bawl
 

He went down the holler
A-bawling like heck
I grinned as he bristled
The hair on my neck
 

My legs were a achin’
And I’s gettin’ tard
From climbing the mountain
Where Slim hammered hard
 

We arrived at the top
And John shined the tree
I said, do you see him
‘said no, I see three
 

I pulled out my money
And counted the cash
And said to the seller
Does he ever run trash
 

He once ran a deer
Drove him like a tack
But when he came by
There’s a coon on his back
 

I shook old John’s hand
And gave him the dollars
For paying in cash
He threw in his collar
 

Now John I must ask
Why you selling old Slim?
‘Cause I got one at home
That’s better than him